Kawaii Johnkat
by Strideshitt
Summary: John and Karkat get it on in a sexy fanfition oh wow hot damn
1. Chapter 1

**Wow hot gay boys get it on in literature hot damn sexy Johnkat **

* * *

He's screaming so loud you can barely think. "SHUT UP!" You yell into his open mouth. He doesn't listen. You take the knife and dig it deeper into his arm, and the tears from his eyes are flowing faster now.

"Why are you doing this?" He asks as you turn the knife and rip his shoulder blade making a sick ripping noise.

You rip the knife out with a smile and he makes a loud cry of pain. You bring the knife down straight into his throat.

You watch him bleed to death as you lick your fingers clean.

* * *

Gamzee was cleaning the back of his restaurant humming a happy tune, it was almost opening time and he had to make sure it was presentably to cook from there. Suddenly the familiar noise of the bell on the door ringing came to his eyes as he jerked up startled.

"Whoa, some motherfuckers early." He laughed as he set down the rag and went through the doorway to the main area of the building.

There, in the center of the tables, was a twitchy boy with a bag dripping something thick and red. His eyes darted around the room as Gamzee came closer.

"John!" The taller man greets him making his was over to none other then John Egbert and his mysterious bag. The owner of the restaurant wrapped his arms around the pale boy.

"I have something for you." John announces as soon as the other released him.

Gamzee eyed him as he nodded, the two headed into the back room where John dropped the bag on the ground with a disgusting squelch.

As soon as the bag was opened a horrible scream erupted from Gamzee's mouth, inside was a dismembered and horribly torn, bloodied, and dead body of Tavros Nitram.

Gamzee tried to run to the phone but John grabbed a nearby knife and plunged it into his ankle, ripping the muscles in the Achilles heel almost immediately.

"You wouldn't tell on me would you?" John asked in a innocent tone, sitting on the other mans legs to stop him from getting away.

John then ripped the knife out of his heel and licked the blood off slowly then brought it to Gamzee's neck. "I thought I could trust you."

The knife ripped through the flesh easily, cutting off all screams before they started leaving horrible gurgles in their place. John used the knife like a saw, sliding in from side to side until Gamzee's head was severed.

He picked it up and brought it to his face, the blood still dripping as he took the face and smooshed it to his lips, making out with the still warm corpses lips before ripping it away from his face and setting it aside as he reached a hand down and tentatively began to undo his own pants.

He was going to have as much fun with this as possible.

Once his pants and underwear were around his ankles he grabbed the head once more picked up the head and pried the mouth open.

It didn't take long for him to cum after that, but he still wanted more.

"Make yourself useful won't you?" John whispered into the severed heads ear as he took off the corpses pants.

He took his now spare hand and grabbed the bag where Tavros' carcass was still inside and rammed his hand into it, getting as much blood as he could he rubbed the dead Gamzee's dick with the red substance, trying to get it coated as good as he could  
before bringing his hips forward and seating himself on the dead organ."Come on.." John growled as he managed to fit it all inside. He liked Gamzee better this way, quiet and useful. He bit his lip as he slowly moved, fucking himself on the dead body's penis below him.

And he loved every second of it.

* * *

Your name is Karkat Vantas and you have a date with the boy of your dreams, John Egbert.


	2. Chapter 2

**WOW THESE BOYS SURE ARE GETTING GAY BUT OH WAIT IS THAT DAVE HES HERE TO RUIN THE JOHNKAT YAOIS NO**

* * *

You watch the pot as it boils filling the restaurant's kitchen with the scent of burning human flesh.

Its going to be delicious and you know Karkat will just love it and maybe you won't tell him what the secret ingredient is.

Maybe.

* * *

Karkat walks down the street staring at a paper in his hand. Directions to his best friend's restaurant.

He didn't actually need them but he kept staring at the small note that John had left at the bottom. "See you soon, I can't wait for you to try the special dish I helped make with Gamzee!"

The troll fixed his shirt as he came to the corner where the restaurant sat and scrunched his nose in disgust. Someone was burning something and it didn't smell like food.

"What the hell?" Was the first thing that spewed from Karkat's mouth as he walked into the building, John was sitting at one of the tables smiling and some dish Karkat had never seen before sat there on each side.

"What the hell is that?" He asked as he sat.

John just stared at him with a eerie smile. "I like to call it Gamtav."

* * *

Karkat just stared at him in silence, creeped out just in the slightest by John's undeterred smile. He reached forward and picked up his fork and tentatively stuck it in the strange colored meat.

"Try it. It's good." John insisted without even touching his yet. Karkat brought the fork to his mouth slowly and took a bite.

He loved it.

"Wow this is actually good what type of meat is it?" He asked in-between shoveling bites into his mouth. John didn't answer right away and just watched him eerily. "Special meat. I needed Gamzee and Tavros's help to make it."

Soon Karkat had finished his food and John nudged him his own untouched plate. "Have more."

Karkat didn't argue as he stuffed his face with the meal on the new plate.

* * *

She's yelling but you can barely hear it over your own laughs. You dig your thumbs into her ripped flesh where you had put a screwdriver into.

"Oh God!" She screams as you accidentally spill salt everywhere. It gives you an idea. A horrible gruesome idea. And you love it.

You reach over and pick up a handful of it and press it into her mangled bloody flesh with as much force as you can, making her let out a blood curdling yell as it burns the inside of her chest in the most painful way it could.

She can't see but you smile near her face, she's blind but you can see the fear in her eyes. You can almost taste her blood. You think her eyes would be pretty with more of it. More blood.

You stand up and grab a drill and she's trying to get away but you won't let her. You turn it on and she's begging but you can't hear all of that when you ram the drill with all your strength right through her eyes and into her skull which makes a disgusting crack and the drill is still on. Her screams are done by now and the drill is spitting out blood and torn beautiful mangled flesh every which way.

She's dead but you aren't even close to finished.

You get on your knees and crawl across the room where you pick up a small nice little hammer.

Your laughter echos in the room as you break into her skull and dip your hands inside the bloody and ruined mess and then a thought hits you. What would this taste like?

You could barely wait to bring your messy hand up to your mouth and lick off the pieces and parts of her scrambled brain. You eat all of it and even chew little splinters left from her broken skull.

You then take the hammer and smash her collar bone with brute force. An her shoulder. And ribs. It doesn't stop until every bone in her body is broken and pathetic, destroyed beyond repair with some pieces of whatever sticking out from beneath the skin in random spots.

You leave Terezi Pyrope's dead body in her front yard.

* * *

Your name is Dave strider and John has a big surprise for you.


	3. Chapter 3

**OH NO DAVES TRYINA STEAL KK'S MAN**

* * *

You knock the apartment door that belongs none other then to Dave Strider himself. Your knuckles rapping against the hard and chipping wood rapidly as you smile eagerly, awaiting him to answer. Your left hand is behind your back, clutching something so hard you wouldn't be surprised if your hand turned whiter then you already were. And that would be saying something considering your whiter then fresh sour creme.

Dave Strider had once been your best friend, but things got rather creepy when he confessed his "undying unironic affection" for you.

He might have scored a chance if he didn't butcher the word irony like some 14 year old girl on the internet.

Your hand begins hitting the wood harder until your making a flat out slapping motion, pounding it with as much force as you can against the chipped paint on his cheap ass door.

"Daaaaave! Open up" You screech into the wood impatiently. You know no one gives a second look when you come here but with that knife in your hand they just might this time.

You wait a few minutes in annoyance and sit down in the hall way and play with the knife's blade. You can wait for him. You can wait for anyone on the list, he's not special. Not better then anyone else there and you know he's probably just absolutely anxious for you to jump rope with his intestines, listen to himself scream like a scared child. Feel himself cry as you kiss his dying mouth.

You're going to make him scream and beg for his pathetic life.

Make him wonder what he did to make you angry, without an answer present for him to hear. Without him knowing why his old crush just literally ripped out his heart and stomped on it.

You're name is John Egbert and you are killing everyone you've ever known.

* * *

Dave whistles a tune as he steps inside the creaking doors of his apartment complex. His feet thudding on the aged wood of the floor, creaking as he moved to the stairs. This place was old and that's why it was so cheap.

The plan wasn't always to live in this crappy building, but Dave couldn't let the nostalgia of his childhood go away. Apartments were a thing he clung to like it was his life.

His first plan was to move in with his old love, John. They could have lived in some fancy house or something.

Dave didn't have an actual plan for them, but that didn't matter did it? John didn't want his advances sexual or romantic all the same.

He wasn't mad though. Nope, not mad at all. He reassured himself as his feet stepped more violently on the smelly carpet of the last stair. He shuffled through the door to his floor and moved through the hallway in an angry daze.

He didn't know why he was thinking about John in the first place. Maybe that's why it was such a surprise when he noticed the black haired boy asleep in a ball right next to his door.

"Hey." Dave whispered as he nudged John's jean covered leg with his foot slightly.

John grunted in his sleep and his nose scrunched up. Dave nudged harder and one of his eyes popped open. "Dave!" He suddenly announced seemingly wide awake.

Dave stepped back as John threw his arms around his neck, and suddenly it was hard to breathe. John was suffocating him, his arm wrapped tightly around his airway and he was laughing. John's laugh was loud and Dave's ears began to ring and his vision began getting white specs. Then as suddenly as it happened John's arm loosened and he was free and breathing heavy.

"Holy shit I thought you were killing me there Egbert."

John's eyes flashed with something. It was sadistic and knowing and full of humor all at the same time and it sent a shiver down Dave's spine.

"Why would I do that?" The boy with frightening blue eyes laughed and the noise was horrible. It was like a sadistic laugh, ringing through the empty hallways of the apartment's stale air.

Dave felt like he was suffocating again, but John wasn't touching him this time. It was like he had a murderous air around him, like something was going to happen to him. Something horrible.

Dave tugged at his collar and swallowed nervously. Why was he scared, this was the same boy that he wanted to make happy not that long ago. I'm overreacting. Dave assured himself, and repeated it in his head until it reassured him of the unjustified scared thoughts that played in his head for whatever purpose. He knew he was being paranoid. Or he thought at least, what's the worst this little kid could do to him? His brother trained him ruthlessly when they were still together in that other place. That felt like forever ago, his older brother still lived with him but the training days had long since passed by. Their relationship changed and now they barely talked unless they really had to.

"Hey uh, wanna come inside?" Dave finally asked, escaping from his thoughts.

John smiled and his hand twitched towards his back pocket holding the knife. He itched to use it, tear open Dave's beautiful flesh and reveal a color so close to his strange eyes. "Of course I do!"

And with that Dave pulled out the tarnished silver key from his jeans pocket and struggled to put it into the lock. John's air around him was making him nervous and shaky all over again, making it hard to get the already crappy key into the scratched key hole of the rusty doorknob. This place needed serious repairs and everyone knew it, thats why Dave's hall was almost completely cleared of anyone except the deaf lady at the farthest end. He had always thought that was the coolest shit ever, but now he was doubting it all because he was a little paranoid about John.

Or a lot paranoid but it was still the same useless feeling filling a pit in his stomach. It had always been like this whether it was from him having a crush or not.

The door finally opened, but not without a fight. Dave assumed it was a pile of puppets or some shit blocking the door and just pushed.

He wasn't surprised when he realized he was right.

"This place hasn't changed at all." John smiled as he closed the door behind himself, his hands slipping around the cool handle of his knife as he stepped forward, pulling it out ever so slightly with the slowest pace he could muster. He wanted to rip it out, tear the jeans and use it to tear flesh. But he had to wait. His plan needed a older Strider present too.

But he didn't need to post pone all the fun did he? No, he didn't and he wasn't going to. He pulled the sharp blade straight out of his pocket without ripping the fabric too bad. He jumped forward, pouncing on Dave with the blade hoisted in the air.

"What are you doing?!" Dave screamed as the knife stopped just mere centimeters from his exposed Adam's apple.

"Nothing, just having a little fun before the real show starts." John murmured huskily into the other's ear as he trailed the knife across the side of Dave's neck, grazing the skin just enough to draw very small traces of blood past the surface.

John had Dave tied up to a kitchen chair in no time, and the real waiting began.

* * *

Your name is Bro Strider and opening your apartment door was the worst mistake of your life.


	4. Chapter 4

**WOW EW HOT STRIDERS TRYING TO STOP JOHN FROM HAVING YAOI SEX ROOD**

* * *

Dave's crying and Bro is still unconscious. They're both tied up to chairs and you love watching Dave beg and plead quietly as the elder Strider is limp in his chair and you think he should be waking up soon. Or at least you hope he will be, you can hardly wait any longer and it's driving you crazy.

You can feel your heart beat in anticipation, it seems like its all the way up in your ears pounding with deafening force and you don't want it to stop. It reminds you you're alive, it's something that reminds you in a few minutes you can feel truly alive.

You love the chase almost as much as you do the actual crime. The actual sound of the metallic liquid splattering with a plop around him, covering the surfaces of whatever in a pretty red color and you shiver in delight with just the thought.

"Why are you doing this?" You suddenly get snapped out of your beautiful thoughts by Dave, and you know he's glaring at you from behind those annoying shades.

You don't even hesitate in punching him right in his stupid face, his shades fly off his face and clack against the hard kitchen tile, and break into tiny shards.

Dave looks up at you with pure shock in his features, and you can tell he's scared of you.

Good. It's not fun if they aren't a little terrified.

* * *

Your name is Bro Strider and what the actual fuck just hit you?

You blink behind your dark shades groggy and unsure of what is going on around you, and God damn does your head hurt like a son of a bitch.

That's when you realize your arms are tied to this Satan chair, one of its legs are shorter then the other and it does that stupid clack thing when you move. It gives you one of the oldest ideas in the book, and you're going to save that for later since now you need to find out whats going on here.

Your brow furrows as you look around. Okay, it seems you managed to get beat up by that Egbert kid. Good going, you definitely won't live this one down.

You can hear Dave crying behind you but you know it's better to pretend you don't, both of you are going to be embarrassed enough that this ever happened and you know its true.

"Oh, sleeping hottie is finally awake!" John exclaims enthusiastically. You pretend like hell that you didn't hear that one either. "We can finally have some fun wow, you two better make up for all that waiting you made me do."

"Stop.." Dave groans out, from right behind you. Your chairs are together and the animal like look in the Egbert kid's eyes is making you both uneasy and hell, who wouldn't be freaked out? He looked about ready to kill and eat both of you.

Hell, you wouldn't be surprised if he just let out a maniacal chuckle and ate your face. Actually that would be pretty damn funny.

And then almost as if he could read your thoughts he erupted into a fit of loud laughter and cue Dave cringing away from him.

Well, time to execute plan Strider Escape you tell yourself as your fancy and dirty dress shoes slide over the floor and you swiftly kick the chair out from under yourself ad your falling, falling falling falling.

You grit your teeth as you hit the cold kitchen tile. It hurts but you've had worse.

"Fuck!" John screeches in a loud annoying voice as he jumps away in shock, but that doesn't last long. He's on you in about 2 seconds flat and God is he mad. For a small kid he can pack a punch you think as his fist collides with your cheek over and over again, and Dave is screaming for him to stop.

Your surprised it hurts at all but fuck it does, and you want to fight back but you can't because the ropes from the chair are holding you captive as you squirm.

"I'M GOING TO TEAR YOU APART. IM GOING TO RIP YOU OPEN, IM GOING TO PUT YOUR BODY IN THE TRASH COMPACTOR. I'M GOING TO MAKE YOU WISH YOU NEVER THOUGHT OF LEAVING YOUR MOTHER'S PUTRID VAGINA." Hes screaming in your face as he hits you, and Dave's suddenly screaming too.

"STOP STOP STOP" He's made a mantra, repeating it louder and louder each time, before it's become deafening and drowns out John's voice and the noise of him hitting your face. It's all you can hear and it rings in your ears. "Stop!" They echo and you want it to stop, you want it all to stop.

John is up faster then you think any of you could comprehend and almost as quickly he grabs Dave's face and there's silence before he whispers "If you want this to stop then play a game with me, Dave. I have it all figured out be a good boy and this will all be so much fun."

You all sit there in silence, and you can taste copper in your mouth and you know it's blood but you don't care. All you care about is finding out what the fuck is going on and the sooner the better.

You watch as Dave shakily nods, something you assume was uncomfortable by the way John is gripping at his cheeks.

"Great!" John exclaims, suddenly happy and chipper. "Now, I'm going to untie the both of you but no funny moves okay?"

Soon you're both untied and much to your surprise Dave is composed and completely calm once again.

You're so proud of him.

"This is a fun game I like to call 'fratricide'." John smiles. "I'm going to make you kill each other."

You can see Dave tense up out of the corner of your eye. Alright, so this day could be going better.

John reaches behind him and takes a knife out of his pocket. "If you put on a good show I'll make sure one of you live." He's smiling so much it's making you feel sick in your stomach, he's enjoying just the thought of you tearing each other up. Dave sure knows how to pick 'em.  
Speaking of Dave you watch as John moves the knife into his hands, muttering something to him a sickeningly sweet voice and your stomach flops everywhere in disgust at that kid.

You're already prepared to die as Dave grips the knife and takes a shaky step towards you.

"Please don't make me do this." Dave suddenly blurts out. "John please, oh God why are you doing this?"

John's mouth goes from a twisted smile to a straight annoyed line in about a second and he looks madder then you've seen him all day. "I give you a chance to live and this is how you repay me?" He grabs Dave's arm roughly and you can see the skin around it go white. You want to help but it's like you're frozen in place so you stand and watch as Dave cries out and drops the knife onto the ground with a clank. John pulls him closer.

* * *

"I thought I'd be nice because we're friends." He releases Dave for a second to pick the knife back up and shove the handle into Dave's hand, making him hold it once more. He roughly pushes him once, twice, until he's barely inches away from you. He's grabbing Dave's arm and before you can comprehend it the knife is in you, inside your stomach.

"No!" Dave backs up into John and you watch the blue eyes flare behind the glasses in anger.

The blood seeping from the knife wound is warm against your gloves and suddenly you feel the pain from the wound full blown. You stagger back a bit but Jon's holding your arm and twisting and wrenching the knife from your flesh. "No way big boy, you aren't getting out of this that easy."

"Stop!" Dave shrieks and pounces on John's back, knocking the smaller boy off balance and he falls, arms out stretched with the knife in hand.

Everything seems to go slow motion as the sharp object in his hand spazzes with his arms and he falls, but not before the knife accidentally cuts into your throat, slicing the skin in an unbearable burning sensation that lasts barely a few seconds, and then you're numb and falling to your knees.

It's hard to stay awake, almost as if there's something beckoning you to just close your eyes, but you know it's intentions are all but innocent. Death's cold paws are so close to you yet you still fear nothing. Like this is a friend welcoming you back from long ago. Everything is fuzzy and distant, going into focus for a millisecond then snapping back to a surreal world almost instantly thrusting upon you the dark once more.

"Bro!" You can hear Dave's screams, so far away it seems but you just barely feel him clutching your arms, shaking you. It doesn't matter though as your eyes close again refusing to open anymore. Your breaths are slipping and you feel so out of control and...warm? Yes, it's like falling asleep.

Wet tears drip onto your face but they aren't yours. You can cry no more. You feel nothing at the final seconds of your life. Your last thought switches back to Dave.

Please, let him be okay. You plead as the last bit of life finally drains from your open neck.

Your name is Dave Strider and your last bit of hope is gone, your brother is dead and John Egbert has never been more furious in his existence.


	5. Chapter 5

**ITS ABOUT TIME WOW DAVE IS FINALLY GONE YES NOW JOHN AND KARKAT CAN REACH THE ULTIMATE YAOIS WOWZA ITS ABOUT TIME YEY  
**

* * *

You kick the side of his head with your foot as hard as you can and he falls over, Dave is still screaming and crying and you want him to shut the fuck up.

He's making you more angry by the second and you're sure he knows it. You're sure he's doing it on purpose. You grit your teeth and grab him by the collar in a complete rage, it seems like all your vision is going red with fury as you shout into his ears at the top of your lungs.

"SHUT UP" You repeat, its loud and drowns out everything as you scream into his eardrums, his cries and every pathetic noise he was making is gone. It's all you now. That noise, that awful deafening noise is all you. You love it, you love beating him in more ways then just physical.

His cries are gone now and hes just whimpering as you continue to scream into his head, you stop when he does and now its quiet except the ringing in both of your ears.

That's when you get an idea, something fit to make anyone squirm in their seats. But God you love it, this perfect evil idea that has just nested inside your head. With a swift tap on Dave's nose you smile at him and begin to tie him back up.

"I need to go shopping, why don't we have an early Christmas~?" You ask in a sing song voice as you reach over to Bro's corpse and pull out a wallet from its pocket.

* * *

You barely give Dave enough time to stutter what before you're already out the door, whistling as it slams shut and shakes the walls of the apartments around it.

Dave cries silently as he awaits for John to come back. He is afraid of what the other will bring when he returns. Early Christmas? From what he's seen so far that could not mean anything good. In fact, it means the opposite of good. Hell, Dave wouldn't be surprised if John came back with a machete or some shit and chopped off his head.

He had to sit and wait, wait for John to come back. Wait. wait to see what was going to happen. Wait. Wait for what? Death? God, the feeling of dread just the thoughts of anything he could do hurt. His head began to reel with what could happen. 'Wait' a voice in his head repeated.

He was going crazy. Dave Strider was going insane from waiting, and waiting for what he didn't even know. Waiting to wait to die? Hell if he knew. Hell if anyone knew. All he knew was that his brother, his guardian his dad his everything was there, laying dead on the floor. The man who taught him everything hadn't had to wait to die. An accident that was out of hand. Wait. Dave laughed. Why should he have to wait? Why did he need to think so hard of the inevitable? He knew John would kill him. It was only a short matter of time.

* * *

Wait.

You return to the apartment where you left Dave, bags fill your arms as you force the door open. You almost laugh as you drop everything on the floor and look at Dave who's nearly asleep in the chair where he was tied up.

"Wakey wakey Davey" You croon in his ear with another poke before going back to emptying the contents of the bags. You don't watch him wake up as you continue to arrange things in a full blown out mock Christmas celebration. Fuck, you even have a tree to top it all off. And presents. So many presents. You pick one up, a orange bag with pink tissue paper, and take it over to Dave happily. "Here, this one is special and all for you." You untie his hands and put the bag in his lap with a smile.

You watch him as he reaches in and... SNAP! The loud noise of the bear trap closing on his hand makes you grin wildly. You can hear the bones crack like dry leaves smashing under feet. You love the sound, Dave's screaming and flesh tearing as he tries to jerk his hand out of the metal grip the trap has on his wrist. His face is twisted into a grimace as he holds in a second scream and grits his teeth to hold back tears.

Its no fun if they don't cry, so you reach forward and tug on his arm with all your strength.

Dave is screaming again as you continue to tug and tug on the trapped appendage. You hear the flesh ripping as you pull harder and harder. Then it happens. You're not entirely sure if what just happened is really possible considering it seems to be something from a bad horror movie but you dont complain as Dave's hand is completely broken, torn and actually separated from the rest of his body.

The blonde's body begins to spasm and his eyes roll into his head, the bloodied stump of his wrist showing exposed blood behind the red. There was so much red, it was everywhere.

Gosh, how was it possible for something to be so pretty? You drop Dave's arm and scurry over to the bags and bandage his bleeding arm and then pull out your knife. Dave's still alive but he won't be for long so you have to act quick. You just hope he's still able to respond as well as before. You cut everything, his legs arms face chest and then finally his neck.

* * *

You watch the blood flow out of the corpse and wonder what you can do with whatever you have left.

Your name is Karkat Vantas and you don't know why everyone around you is dying.

You haven't seen John since your date the other day and you wonder if you'd seem desperate calling him. You really want to make sure he's okay what with everyone else dying. You can't lose the boyfriend you tried so hard to get as soon as you finally actually got him. You may have some crappy ass luck but that'd just be ridiculous, what type of crappy God would let that happen?

Actually no scratch that, you aren't even into any dumb human religions what the fuck was that about? You're sure that if they had a spark of truth and that someone else had made them that wasn't you he'd hate you anyway. Or she. Or whatever, the point is that the universe hates you enough already without some extra deity around judging you.

But back to the real point, it seems like all your friends are slowly dying. You remember Terezi saying something a while back about some stupid theory she had before she ended up dead too. She claimed that she knew who was the murderer, that is was John.

You remember, she pulled you away from the group dinner you and the others were having just so she could tell you her crackpot theories about how John was really some crazy murderer after you and all this other shit that you barely even listened to. Of course you don't believe it one bit but you still feel guilty for the last thing you said to Terezi to be "Yeah whatever you're blind you wouldn't recognize a killer two feet in front of your face".

You didn't mean what you said to her then but you were a bit jealous for no good reason. You used to like Terezi but she dumped you flat on your ass faster then you could even count to two.

You sigh and tap a finger on the table in front of you, still debating whether to call John or not before you got too ridiculously paranoid and actually thought too hard about everything that's een happening over this short period of time.

You decide you have nothing to lose and dial John's number in your cell phone with hard and fast jabs, trying to make sure you have no time to back out in between the first and last digit.

* * *

He answers within the first ring and tells you he'll see you at a restaurant around 8 o'clock because right now he's busy decorating a tree with Dave and Bro.

You smile at the tree in front of you, red and dripping with blood. The corpses of the Strider brothers lay discarded somewhere, their insides an intestines torn out and now wrapped around the tree in front of you, a beautiful streamer on a green and red tree. You smile and oped the door and head down the hallway. You think there's a lady living down the hall and the tree needs something to be it's star.


	6. Chapter 6

**WOW REALLY LONG WAIT FOR THE SHORTEST CHAPTERS OF THE YAOIS EVER WOW!1!**

* * *

You smile down at the objects that lay before you on the table, knives and bats, syringes and razor blades. Anything sharp and or dangerous that you could get your hands on is right there in front of you. You trace your hand over a bone saw, a carving knife, rat poison. You stroke all the items tenderly with a smile placed on your lips as you push them off into a large gym bag.

Your name is John Egbert and you want to go down in history as a serial killer no one will ever find. To be in the great names of Jack the Ripper and anyone else, a murderer that would show up on unsolved mysteries forever.

Tonight is the big night, the last two murders you plan on doing. The grand finale in a circus ring of you and the corpse clowns.

* * *

Tonight will be one of the most phone nights of your life, and it will also be your last.

You have big plans for Karkat and boy you just can't wait.

Your name is Karkat Vantas and you can't believe you got so lucky to have a date with the boy of your dreams tonight.

You scurry about your small apartment complex tidying things up the event that for whatever reason John Egbert decides to come to your house. You dash around everywhere and only pause for a moment so you can check the time. Almost 8, you should probably get ready.

After you fix up both yourself and the apartment you make your way to the door and out into the real world in the way of the restaurant where you and John will have what you assume will be the most excellent date of all time.

Too bad that it doesn't go quite as you planned.


	7. Chapter 7

John killed Karkat the end.


	8. Authors note

I would actually like to thank everyone that has read and waited for this fanfic to update. Due to unexplainable reasons I had been stalling on actually writing the fanfic and it made me feel immensely guilty. I am actually working on the real last chapter and felt the need to put a gag one up at first to buy me extra time and stall ill feelings over this thing. Until it is finished I will leave both this and the last chapter up, and say it is completed until I post the real chapter.

I still apologize profusely for the wait and hope that any followers of the story would wait a little while longer. I will work on this to get it finished ASAP.

This chapter will later be deleted but the one prior to it will probably be kept.

Thank you for patience.

**- Your humble author**


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